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Mistress first

Updated: Aug 9

Her orgasm and sexual satisfaction matters much more than yours. It’s time to learn that the world does not revolve around your penis. Instead you should accept that not only her orgasm, but her sexual pleasure, bodily pleasure and satisfaction are worth more than your orgasm. This is a life philosophy you should live by if you want to be a good sub, or frankly a good partner. I would give this advice to every man I’ve dated if I could. Her orgasm matters more than yours!



When women have sex with each other they usually report more sexual pleasure! Why? Obvious – women know how valuable a woman’s orgasm is. They pay attention to it.


The fact of the matter is that women’s orgasms are much more powerful then mens’. HER orgasm lasts longer, brings more pleasure and can repeat again and again without tiring her. A penile orgasm is short lived and leads to tiredness. If a woman misses out on orgasms she is losing more potential pleasure.

If a man skips an orgasm he isn’t missing out on much. In fact, denying a man an orgasm is a good way to keep him awake and giving me pleasure. Once he orgasms, I know he will be sleepy. It’s really to my benefit and the man’s benefit if I don’t let him come.


That is why it is your job to be a good boy and focus on her orgasm instead of yours. Keep this idea in your mind at all times as life philosophy.


Focus on her orgasm first and foremost


Orgasm is the high point of physical pleasure. You can be a good boy and start with a massage, body worship or foreplay, to help get her aroused. Kiss and lick in all the places she wants to be kissed and licked. Worship her body and all her erogenous zones. Don’t assume you know what she likes, ask her. Meanwhile ignore your own cock until she notices it. Until she shifts the focus, keep the focus on her pleasure.


Even if you cannot bring her to orgasm, you can help get her aroused. She can use her own hands, toys or vibrator to orgasm. In fact she may prefer a vibrator or dildo over your cock if your cock is inadequate.


Step aside so other people can give her an orgasm if you cannot


Further, she may prefer to have sex with other people. Maybe with other people of multiple genders. Other sex partners might be able to give her something that you cannot give her. It is your job to be a good boy and to support her thriving sex life. Be a good boy and accept that being a cuckhold is a rewarding experience if it means she has more sexual pleasure and more orgasms.


Do not forget that her orgasm is most important


You know what is a relationship killer? A man who is so desperate for sex that he gives no pleasure to his partner. When a man forgets to focus on my orgasm, my pleasure, my arousal I lose interest. Some big mistakes in this area include:

  • Skipping foreplay when your partner wants it

  • Trying to have sex before she is even aroused

  • Begging for sex/ a blow job/ a hand job

  • Not asking your partner what turns her on

  • Being resistant to using a vibrator / her favorite toys. (A vibrator will get me to orgasm better than any man’s cock).

  • Using the same technique on every woman instead of asking her what she likes.

I mean it when I say these are relationship killers. I have ended relationships over some of these things. Any D/s relationship or vanilla relationship will benefit when women have more orgasms. Adopt it as a mantra that you keep in the back of your mind: Her Orgasm Matters More than Yours.



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